Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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