so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
