yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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