Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My bed smells like the plague
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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