Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I understand Curling. That high.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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