I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
