Kareoke will never be a sober sport
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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