How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
