I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
