maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
