i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Two words: blizzard sex
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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