Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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