Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
