I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I had to cum in my sink.
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