not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize