He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
