is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize