Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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