I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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