The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
