Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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