i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
