Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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