You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
