I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
