too bad you live with your parents still
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize