Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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