I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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