that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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