he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
