come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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