so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
