Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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