Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
