i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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