I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
