So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
