god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
