were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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