shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
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Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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