youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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