Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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