I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
