either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize