i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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