And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
