she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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