Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize