you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
