It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
