should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
