I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
