Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
