My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
