Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.

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  (559): he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in. http://tfl.nu/5rdv
  Replies (20) Good night (1212) Bad night (1897)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..

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  (630): The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning.. http://tfl.nu/4rfg
  Replies (16) Good night (4772) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless

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  (607): Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless http://tfl.nu/a84j
  Replies (20) Good night (5073) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions

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  (407): at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions http://tfl.nu/ea5m
  Replies (20) Good night (4685) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys

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  (603): wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys http://tfl.nu/ak8d
  Replies (17) Good night (5920) Bad night (2409)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.

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  (845): i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now. http://tfl.nu/ygdu
  Replies (12) Good night (1011) Bad night (3343)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.

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  (630): What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday. http://tfl.nu/1egp
  Replies (4) Good night (1611) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  why would you automatically assume i'm high...

  (240): View more from Maryland

  you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.

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  (301): why would you automatically assume i'm high... (240): you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix. http://tfl.nu/8cui
  Replies (3) Good night (1906) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.

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  (530): All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls. http://tfl.nu/uabx
  Replies (12) Good night (783) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.

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  (215): Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C. http://tfl.nu/gqta
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits

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  (778): can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits http://tfl.nu/njr0
  Replies (4) Good night (339) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice

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  (843): You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice http://tfl.nu/t6a0
  Replies (7) Good night (341) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment

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  (651): I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment http://tfl.nu/g035
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.

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  (613): You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse. http://tfl.nu/8ufz
  Replies (4) Good night (664) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat

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  (425): Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat http://tfl.nu/7oyq
  Replies (0) Good night (219) Bad night (433)

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