Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize