I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
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He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
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Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.