The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
