he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
