she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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