p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
