In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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