I want to stick my p in your. b.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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