4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
