So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize