Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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